work

Work is crazy. Just trying to hear God's voice in the midst of all the chaos. I don't know whether or not it is just another storm to wait out or if it is time to move on. Something has got to give, and it's got to be big.

I'm sure there will be more coming about this.

What the heck??!!

Today I was told to fix a problem at work that I had nothing to do with; I was just in the path of the Dr who was extremely upset. And I had to listen to him on his soapbox for a good hour of my morning that I didn't really have to spare.

What the heck??!!

I was called into my manager's office today and told that I have to pump my milk and nurse my baby faster than I am already currently doing during the work day. And that I should take my work phone with me to lunch so I can field any calls that come for me (with my 3rd hand? I am already nursing and trying to eat lunch at the same time)

What the heck??!!

I was greeted after my 'lunch break' by an overhead page in the hospital and the Chief of Staff for the Drs to interrogate me about something that happened during my lunch break that I didn't even know had happened yet (should've had my phone I guess), and why I let it happen. I knew I wasn't going to get to say my piece, so I just smiled and nodded and said, "ok. sure." repeatedly. No matter how much he baited his questions, I just nodded my head and didn't reply with words. It was killing me not to say what I really wanted to say (like "you're a pompous idiot who is such a 'yes' man you wouldn't know an original idea if it smacked you upside the head"). He took me back to first year nursing school to reeducate me about how to take a dr's order.

What the heck??!!

After what I called "my 3 kicks in the groin" so far that day, my manager reappears to tell me her advice for the whole situation above is to never trust anyone. Great lesson, great teacher. Really helped me out. That's sounds like a great way to get bitter and ugly.

What the heck??!!

Trying to figure things out in my head...

This is where I am right now...


Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?

Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
reckless abandon wrapped in common sense.
Deep water faith in the shallow end
and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences,
the God we want and the God who is.
But will we trade our dreams for His,
or are we caught in the middle?

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

Casting Crowns, "Somewhere in the Middle", from The Altar and the Door

The God of 2nd chances...

The coolest thing happened to me today. At the end of April, I took an exam to become an oncology-certified nurse (a specialty exam). Due to circumstances beyond my control (ie. the 8 month old baby in my womb), I ended up not being able to complete the exam and as a result, I 'failed'. I lost the $400 bucks it took to register and take the exam, and I was feeling pretty lousy about the whole thing. It really made me question my intelligence and aptitude for this area of nursing, but also served as a good wake up call for me to not get lost in the identity of my career. I was already miserably uncomfortable being pregnant, but I thought taking the exam before the 2nd child was born was smarter and maybe more feasible than after. I WAS WRONG. So, in the meantime, I kind of forgot about it and decided I didn't need some testing company to tell me I was a smart nurse, nor did I want to shell out the big bucks to them again either.

So comes a letter in the mail today.

It turns out, the computer categorized the scoring and presented it to the tester (me) incorrectly. I still had a 'failing' score, but because of the error of reporting on the testing company's part, I am able to take the test again in 2009 FREE OF CHARGE! This is really cool because I know I can pass that test. And when I do, I can actually get the cost reimbursed from the hospital because I am bettering myself as an employee there. I couldn't afford to lay down that much money a 2nd time, but now I am able to take the test without having to! With these credentials, I would get a pay raise too.

God is good at second chances. I would've never seen this one coming. But I will trust His will and timing and know he has my best interest at heart.

Taking it slow...

What's wrong with taking it 'one holiday at a time'? Why did the Christmas decorations start selling in the stores in September? Can't we take one over-commercialized holiday at a time before being bombarded with the next and the next? We are a greedy country. Greedy for candy, turkey and overeating, and the wrong message of Christmas. Makes me sad.

Glad

I am glad that pink chalk is not the same as pink marker. (our stairs are too!)

Happy 33 to me!

Well, I had my 33rd birthday this past Friday, and it was such a wonderful day. My sister's birthday is the day before mine, so she took both days off from work. I am still on maternity leave so I was home as well. On her birthday, we got our hair colored together and just hung out most of the day doing whatever she wanted. My birthday gifts started pouring in even before my birthday began. Here's how my day unfolded:

First, Heidi bought me a new scrapbook for Paige's "book of firsts", so that I could make her one similar to the one I made for Ava. We got this the night before my birthday, so it was like opening a gift on Christmas Eve before the mother-load on Christmas day. The next gift I received about 530 am. That was the first time Paige woke up to nurse since bedtime at 1030 pm, and usually she gets up at least two times before daybreak. Forgot how nice it was to get uninterrupted sleep! I remembered in the morning that I forgot to put the laundry from the washer into the dryer. When I was doing so, I heard this clanging sound in the bottom of the washer. The wedding band that I had taken off to put on sunblock several days previous, and then couldn't find again, had made its reappearance. It had been missing for 5 days and I had written it off as being long gone. My morning was off to a great start. The only thing that could have made my morning any better was going to happen next. We were going to have a big breakfast at Cracker Barrel. It is my favorite place to eat breakfast, and I love the coffee. So we went and I had my usual blackberry french toast. Christopher always gives me a slice of his bacon from his breakfast--he's so sweet! Here's another great birthday gift--Ava behaved the whole time and actually ate a decent amount of breakfast. She gets very distracted in restaurants and it is usually not a lot of fun taking her out to eat. She blew me away. What a treat! My sister Heidi met us there and had breakfast with us.

Then we were off to do all my birthday 'usuals' in Ann Arbor--my favorite place to go. It was about 1130, so we went to Zingerman's to get my 6 free birthday bagels. Last year I went in the evening and the selection wasn't as great, so we knew we needed to go earlier in the day. We got the bagels and a loaf of their cinnamon raisin bread--pricey, but worth it. It was fun to see the place buzzing. It is an expensive place to eat, but you will not leave hungry and you will not find a better sandwich--there are probably 100 sandwich options.

Then we hit Stucchi's to get my free birthday scoop of ice cream. I almost always get the same flavor, but they are all so good. I got my scoop of Chocolate Raspberry, which is raspberry ice cream with chocolate bits in it. YUMMM. If you have never eaten at Stucchi's (pronounced stew-cheese), you must. It is an Ann Arbor based company, and it is the best ice cream around.

From Stucchi's, we went to the diag and let Ava run around. I needed to get Paige her lunch, and needed a place to sit and nurse. Christopher and I love to walk around Ann Arbor, and so does my sister. They both went to U of M, and are fond of campus. Me too, because I associate them with the campus.

After Paige was done eating, we went and got our lunch to take home from Jerusalem Garden. It is this little 'hole-in-the-wall' place that serves middle-eastern cuisine, which happens to be my favorite. We got chicken shawarmas and hummus, and took it home to eat. I enjoyed every bite of my birthday shawarma, and the hummus was good, too.

We got home and put the girls down for a nap, which was much shorter than usual. DO NOT try to get pictures of your kids together when they have not had their full naps. Especially if they are still not totally fond of each other, and are both nap-deprived. Thought it would be easier with my sister along (normally this would be such a great help), but let's just say, it's not the ideal thing to try on your birthday if you want it to continue to be a great day. Enough said. (If you read back to my blog entry on my 31st birthday, you might read similar advice, though I apparently didn't remember to take it!) So, we came home with no pictures, and I was relieved to see my parents made it down safely to our place. Dad brought steaks and sweet corn from up north (the sweet corn is way better than anything we eat down here--ever.) That's what you get used to when you grow up in a farm town. Christopher grilled the steaks to perfection, and they were so good! What a great dinner.

The last thing Christopher and I did was go to JoAnn's Etc. store and bought a new sewing machine. I have one that was Grandma Zirk's machine, and it is one year older than I am. It is a good machine, but it's been wearing down and having quirky problems each time I work on a sewing project. Since I have been doing a lot of sewing lately, Christopher thought it was time to get a machine that had some of the more helpful features and functions that today's machines have that my machine doesn't. So we got in and ordered it in the nick of time, as the store was closing. The next day the machine wasn't on sale anymore and would've been 100.00 more than what we got it for. Very thankful for the timing on that!

So, that was my birthday this year in a nutshell, and it was great. I saw God in all the little details--the things we sometimes think are too small for him to care about. But he does.

Yes, Jesus loves me.

My Testimony of God's Goodness

Since I've had Paige on June 30, I have been reminded time and time again about God's goodness. I wanted to write about it, so that people can share in the joy that comes from seeing Him work in your life.

As many of you know, this was a very difficult pregnancy for me. For Christopher, too, I'm sure if you asked him. I had a problem that started early on in my pregnancy called symphasis pubis dysfunction. It began in about my 3rd month of pregnancy. I was excited to be pregnant again, because my pregnancy with Ava was what some would call 'cake'. No real problems, no pain, just the usual discomfort with the increase in size. So in my mind I was ready to handle it again. I had no idea what I was in for. What this problem is, in a nutshell, is a misalignment of my hips which stretches the ligaments of my hips out in the wrong manner. You don't really see anything different, but sleeping and moving from sitting to standing or vice versa was extremely painful. I ended up having to take some pain medicine regularly and wearing this get-up which was supposed to help give my abdomen more support so it didn't pull on the ligaments of my hips. It worked fairly well in the beginning, and my sister gave me exercises to try and naturally pull my hips back into alignment. The exercises hurt, but they seemed to help somewhat, too. The doctors tend to not do much for this problem, much to my disappointment, chalking it up to the 'aches and pains of pregnancy'. Now, I know there are some things that you really can't do anything about medically, but finding yourself in shoes that need some help makes you really think a lot differently. I was at the point in the 7 month where I was really having a hard time getting around at work. Work involves a lot of moving, being on your feet, and trying to keep up with the avalanche of requests being made of you from everyone, staff and otherwise. Everyone kept asking me when I was going on maternity leave, and I kept telling them not for about 2 more months. I must've looked pretty pathetic, though I was trying to keep mum about my pain until I was in the break room and could put my feet up and rest. When I couldn't get around very well at home I decided there was no reason to try and keep going at work, which was much tougher. I ended up having to go on maternity leave 2 weeks earlier than the 2 weeks early I was originally planning to do. So I was off on leave the beginning of June, due the end of June and completely miserable. I thought I was going to be put on bedrest because I kept having contractions, but nothing regular. I prayed to God I would go early; I wasn't able to turn in bed at all without excruciating pain, and I was already up several times a night either using the bathroom or trying to move to a different position in bed. I figured "if I am already up all night because of these things, I should have a newborn." I guess not. So, my family took turns coming and staying with us to help out. It was wonderful to have them around to help, because the burden had started to fall almost completely on Christopher. I could tell it was wearing him out, but he wasn't going to complain. So, I was reminded about God's goodness with a wonderful and witty family, and also an amazing husband who didn't complain about my inability to do much. They all helped me keep my sense of humor through the pain and difficulty. God knows if I don't laugh, I don't do much. It keeps me feeling alive.



As each day came and went, I became a little more sad that I was so uncomfortable and God hadn't relieved me from it yet. God never promised to keep us pain-free, but he does promise to be there with us through it. And He was. It got hard to give people the same 'surfacy' answer to the question, "how are you doing?" Most people just ask it to make conversation--they don't really want all the details. They hope you are doing fine, and they have done their duty to talk to a pregnant person. Truth was, I wasn't doing fine. I was in pain all the time, it was extremely hard to breathe, and I was tired all the time. But since there wasn't anything anyone could do, I'd just give the same old reply, "hanging in there". There were nights where I would cry in bed because I was so ready for it to be over. With Ava, I could've been pregnant for a lot longer, because it wasn't such an ordeal to carry her for 9 months. This time, every time I went into the doctor's office the receptionists had the look on their face of, "oh, we thought you were due a long time ago!" I kept waiting for the doctors to talk about inducing because of how horrible I was feeling, and especially since I was having contractions frequently, but not at regular intervals. They didn't want to induce, and now, in a rational moment, I didn't want it either. But I was so tired and wiped out, anything sounded better than being pregnant for one more day. By the way, 'stripping your membranes' does not work, and is horribly painful. It sounds so tempting, like it will help, but it won't. I didn't know it was painful, nor do they mention that at all. I didn't know it wouldn't work until after I had it done and 3 weeks had passed. When they asked me if I wanted them to strip my membranes while I was at my next appointment, I told them, "No, I already had that done." There was this long, silent pause.....I said, "You mean, you can have it done more than one time?! Oh God, no. I do not want that done again." I stopped going to anywhere where I would have to talk to people and fake like I was feeling fine. I would go hang out with my girlfriends, which helped, because they knew the whole story and didn't need any rehashing of it. Plus, half of them are pregnant, too, so we could all sympathize pretty well with each other. That was a saving grace. So, God's goodness was exhibited by how he has blessed me with such amazing friends. They were ones who were really praying for me when they said, "I'll be praying for you." They showed genuine concern and love, and it makes it so easy to love them in return. I know I don't always do it well, or in a way that really expresses my gratefulness, but they are amazing ladies. Truly a gift from God!


Well, I didn't go early, even by one day. I started having contractions the morning of June 30, which was my due date. God knew that was THE day. I wished I knew so that I didn't get so worked up and worried that I would go late. Would've saved me some tears. It was hard at first to tell if I was really in labor, as I had been having contractions for about a month at that time. I just figured I was desperate enough that I was going to call the doctor and let them know I was coming. Maybe they'd have compassion on me and admit me even if the contractions weren't close enough. Truth be told, I never noticed a break in between them. It just felt like one continuous contraction, though it wasn't super strong. So, like any gal in desperation, when the Dr asked how far apart my contractions were, I said 3 minutes, hoping I would get the green light to head to the hospital. I got the go ahead. I was going to go regardless, but it felt good to be legit! We had to wait for Heidi to come over to be with Ava before we left for the hospital. It didn't take too long. Once we hit the highway, the contractions didn't seem nearly so painful. 'Oh, great' I thought. 'False alarm and now I will be the nurse who wasn't smart enough to even know if she was in labor or not.' No one wants to be that person, but I would be downright embarrassed if I was wrong. Medical people are supposed to know EVERYTHING medical, don't you know? (that's what most laypeople think)


Well anyway, whatever happened it was going to be a long day. So I told Christopher he could go through the Tim Horton's drive-thru and get coffee and a bagel, as the dads often get neglected when it comes to nourishment in the hospital. (Rational thought for someone in labor, don't you think?!) I knew I shouldn't eat, because it might interfere with my medication plans. I only had one bite of the bagel, and none of the coffee. It was tough to resist. I was hungry, too. But I figured if we were going to be out and possibly sent back home, he might as well have some breakfast. We got to the hospital, and I walked myself in. Christopher parked the car and hid the coffee under his coat and the bagel in my hospital bag. He thought it might look a little too casual and unconcerned for the dad to be eating his breakfast while his wife is writhing in pain. Probably wise--you never know what those nurses think. We got into triage about 6am and they hooked me up to the monitors. I've seen bigger contraction markings from hiccups than I had from being in labor. I just looked at Christopher and said, "please don't let them send me home. I will start bawling, and then I will beg them to keep me and make a big scene." I meant it, too. They called my doc, and decided to keep me and admit me. I was so thankful at that moment I welled up with tears. I had butterflies in my stomach for the excitement of finally having this child. As they were wheeling me over to the labor and delivery unit, I noticed on my chart it said "Early Labor" on it. I asked the nurse about it--I said, "why does that say 'early labor?'-- today is my actual due date. there is nothing early about this child." She explained that it meant I was in the early stages of labor, not that I was in premature or early labor. "Just checking--I wanted to make sure." I make it a habit to not mention I am a nurse unless someone asks what I do, especially in a hospital. It makes them act differently, and I don't want that. They either won't tell you anything, because you're a nurse and you know ALL medical stuff anyway (not true), or they'll tell you every little thing because they don't think you trust them because you DO KNOW some medical stuff, but they don't know exactly what the extent of your knowledge is. So I made it to my labor and delivery unit, and we settled in.

The nurse,Liz, got my admission information and said to just let her know when I wanted the epidural. I said, 'ok'. She started me on some pitocin to try and regulate my contractions. Prior to the pitocin, I was dilated to 3 cm. She left for a bit, and Christopher finished his bagel that was now cold. When she returned, I told her, "last time, I didn't have to tell anyone when I was ready for my epidural. They just knew I wanted one and got it taken care of. So how do I know when to ask for it this time?" She said, "when you are getting too uncomfortable, ask." I wasn't too bad at that time, but 10 minutes later, she walked in and saw my face and said, "I'll go get the epidural gal to fix you up". So they did, and it was great. I love epidurals. Anyway, not long after the epidural was in, I was starting to feel the urge to push. They came to check me, and only 30 minutes after starting the pitocin, I was dilated to a 9. My sister wanted to be there for the birth if she could, so I was trying to hold off pushing. We had just gotten off the phone with her and she was going back to her condo to freshen up and brush her teeth. It was 9:50am. I told Christopher to call her back and tell her if she wanted to see this thing, she needed to come right away. I tried to talk myself into waiting until 10a to try and push to give her time to get here. Problem was, the baby didn't know that. I had to start pushing.

Heidi got there in time to see the delivery. It was less than 20 minutes and 3-4 rounds of pushing before the baby was out. Even faster than with Ava, which was amazingly fast for my first baby. When they told us it was a girl, we were thrilled! We would've been thrilled either way, but the wait was finally over! We named her Paige Annelisse; I picked out the first name, and Christopher picked out the middle name. We both agreed on them, of course, but I wanted Christopher to have sole rights to picking out the middle name. Heidi got to cut the cord, which was pretty cool. Paige was pretty purple and not crying a whole lot. They let me hold her for just a few seconds, and then whisked her off to the NICU to try and get her to breathe a little better. Christopher went to the NICU, and I stayed back in the room with Heidi. Paige was in the NICU for about an hour on oxygen. By the time she was out of NICU, I was already moved to my room in the the Mother-Baby Unit. Here is another token of God's goodness--my sister. She is the most amazing person, and the best sister anyone could ask for. She has always been such a good friend to me, and very loving and supportive of all I do. She and I can always crack jokes and the other 'gets it' without having to explain. God knew I needed someone like her--I have watched her grow into a loving, nurturing person. And though she is 2 years younger, you wouldn't know it. We know each other inside-out, and there isn't anything we wouldn't do for each other. Though I could beat her in Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy (he he), there isn't much else; she is just so smart! She picks up things really fast, and then just excels at them. Things come easy for her, or at least she doesn't give up until they look easy when she's doing them. She has the determination of a lion, yet continues to stay compassionate and loving to people around her. And she's passionate about the things she loves--she and I could talk U of M football all day long. We enjoy watching sports together (thanks to our brothers), and the things we love to do, we love with everything in us. She is half-hearted about nothing. She is an inspiration to me. I look at her and it motivates me to do better, try harder. So having her there with me was such a great honor. My mother got to watch Ava being born, and my sister got to watch Paige--the two women most close to me were with me for two of the most amazing moments in my life. God has truly given me a gift in my sister. I love her!

Okay, so here's where I really started to experience, or at least recognize, God's goodness in this situation--post partum. It was a horrible pregnancy, but the labor and delivery seemed like a reward for just making it through the pregnancy. Of course, this clarity didn't come until after I was finished with the whole birthing process. I started to count my blessings while I was in my hospital bed, literally, of the amazing circumstances that surrounded me at that time.

Here is a list of some of the things I am still praising God for:
1. I didn't feel any severe pain with contractions.
2. I got to the hospital at 6:15ish am and had my baby by 10:15ish am.
3. I only pushed for 15 minutes.
4. I had an epidural that rocked!
5. I had a healthy baby.
6. I had a girl, so I had all kinds of girl stuff already and didn't have to buy more.
7. My girls have 2 really wonderful sets of grandparents that love them dearly.
8. My girls have 2 great-grandmas that got to see them pretty quickly after birth.
9. I had great nurses and doctors in the hospital. I felt completely taken care of. They took care of my pain and comfort issues very well.
10. Paige latched on right away like a Hoover vacuum. She nurses well.
11. My parents were able to stay with Ava while we were in the hospital.
12. Two of my good friends, both expecting, came to visit me in the hospital. They are so loving and kind. And man, can Jen make a mean oatmeal cookie--best I ever had. I even hid them from everyone except Christopher because I didn't want to share them. They were amazing!
13. I was up and about walking pretty quickly after delivery. My recovery time was so much quicker this time around and a lot less painful, even though I did have some stitches.
14. I got to have lunch with Christopher from down in the cafeteria; I had a great turkey wrap and we got to eat it outside because there was a picnic area and it was a beautiful day. The nurses said they were bored and wanted to rock some babies in the nursery. How could I refuse? Plus the cafeteria food was much more appetizing!
15. I had a fan in my room to blow right on me, which helped me sleep. I love fans!
16. I had a DVD player that I could watch movies on, and speakers to listen to my iPod, and a good book I could catch up on. All free because I brought them myself.
17. We got a new breast pump, which was 100% covered by our insurance. We switched to Christopher's insurance in the winter, and it has been such a positive experience. They are much more comprehensive than the insurance I was carrying.
18. I got to give the breast pump I had purchased used to a friend who happened to need one and didn't have one.
19. God has provided for all of our financial needs while I am not working and not bringing home a paycheck.
20. We didn't have to make meals for about a month because of my MOPS group and Sunday school class and friends bringing us meals. It was wonderful, and it really helped our grocery budget!

21. My parents are willing to provide child care for us on the days Christopher and I both work. They have been doing this for a over a year now, and it has been wonderful. It gives them a chance to play with their grandkids, and it gives us huge peace of mind knowing how well they raised me and my siblings. I know they are loving and kind, yet hold to the same principles of parenting we do. We do not worry when they are watching our girls. We know how lucky we are to have this.

So, to say I am grateful for God's goodness is an understatement, but it definitely needed to be expressed. Since I am a much better writer than speaker, I thought this would be a great way for me to get my thoughts down and hopefully inspire someone in the process. God was hard to see while I was pregnant, but I knew he was there. He always is. When his perfect time came, I was able to see the abundance he has given to me, and I am extremely grateful. And I know I am blessed.

How Similar are They?

Here are pics of both Ava and Paige at about the same time. How similar or different do you think they look?

Our first 4th of July as a family of 4!

It was an uneventful day, but beautiful to be outside. Ava doesn't stay still for much, so this was as close as we could get to a civilized family picture!

She finally came! Paige Annelisse Zirk born June 30

We were so excited to wake up on monday morning to my contractions--seems like a funny thing to say, but after a difficult and painful pregnancy, it was great to have the 'real thing' happening! And it was exactly her due date!

We waited for Aunt Heidi to get to our house before we took off to the hospital, but we got to St. Joe's by 6a, and had our baby by 10:13a. I had to have some pitocin because my contractions were present, but not regularly close enough. I went from 3 cm one minute to 9cm 30 minutes later. I was expecting everything to take a little longer, but after the epidural was in place, I waited about 30 minutes before I felt the pressure and urge to push. She came out after 15 minutes of pushing (quicker than Ava, which I didn't think was possible. She was 20 minutes),

and the waiting to find out what our baby was ended...a beautiful girl. She was 9 pounds, 1 ounce and was 21 3/4 inches long, and has a medium amount of brown hair. She didn't cry a lot, and was quite purple, so she ended up on oxygen for about an hour in the NICU. After that, she seemed to be doing quite well, and I got to finally hold her and get a good look at her. She reminded me so much of Ava when she was born, minus the blonde hair. My recovery was much quicker this time, and I was walking around pretty quickly after.

Christopher keeps saying how glad he is that the old Kristen is back...I guess I was wearing him out with my bumming around and not being able to help with much. I seem a lot happier and he feels like life just got easier in a sense, because I'm now there to help. Thank you for all of your prayers. They meant a lot to us, getting us through the pregnancy and bringing a beautiful new life into the world.

It's an amazing thing. God is so good.

Still waiting.....

Still waiting for this little bundle to come out---I am just so anxious to find out if it is a new daughter or son!! My due date is tomorrow, so I am full of thoughts of "what if"....Please pray for me should the date come and go without a birth--I will be bummin' bad.

Don't Ask....

Seems as though I am only 3 days away from my due date, but an eternity away according to the docs. I will definitely post when something relevent happens, but in the meantime, I am trying to be patient and not too miserable (hard to do both).

Anytime now would be fine with me....

Now, I wouldn't call myself 'modest', but I don't usually put myself out there too often, either. But since people are curious, I decided to take a couple of pics to show off my pregnant belly. I don't consider it cute (as some have said), but it is definitely more picture worthy than the first time I was pregnant. Let's just say there is a reason I don't have any belly pictures from that one! I am 32 weeks pregnant in these pics, and I am 35 weeks now. It's only getting more and more difficult to breathe!!

Ava's 2nd Birthday!

This past Sunday, May 18, we celebrated Ava's 2nd birthday. We had a lot of fun and a lot of family to celebrate with. Here are some of the pictures from the big day! (note the fine fashion apparel given to her by her parents!)

the birthday girl!


special 'kids' table all decked out!


new biker babe!


mom made her a rocking horse


the hit of the party,

the Elmo cake,

made by mom's friend Jen

(tasted as good as it looked!)

The Ava we know.....

Here is the picture that shows the real Ava Zirk......a lover of Elmo and Sesame Street!

What would we do without Elmo?

Just wonder why Elmo keeps asking Mr. Noodle or his brother, Mr. Noodle, the questions first all the time. They never seem to know what's going on. It takes Elmo and the kids a lot of time and explanation before the Noodle brothers ever 'get it'--Dorothy the goldfish even seems to know so much more without having to have it spelled out for her! And Elmo always ends up asking the baby anyway...

I digress....(perhaps too much Elmo for mom?)

Enjoy the picture!

Ava and Gracie Easter Pictures 2008

Here's the picture of the two cuties in their Easter dresses! Don't you love the dramatic 'seriousness' Ava expresses in the 2nd picture?

Easter 2008

This year Easter was the earliest it has been in a very long time. It came so fast, it didn't even feel like Easter until the day of. We had my entire family over (minus the Florida crew) for an Easter lunch, which was nice and low key. Ava and Gracie played together with all their new stuff, and we just took it easy and watched them play. Ava had the whole ensemble going on for church in the morning--a white dress with pink flowers, white tights, white shoes, a white purse and her favorite--the white Easter bonnet! She walked around the church and had all kinds of people comment on how cute she looked! It was really fun to see her get into it this year. She really liked her new shoes, and because they had a small heel that made a 'tapping' sound when she walked in them. She also learned about coloring eggs at Grandma and Grandpa Zirk's house this year. She wasn't sure exactly what it was about, but liked to put stickers on the eggs to help decorate them.

Baby #2's ultrasound pictures

Well, we went in for the 21 week ultrasound pictures, and it turned out to be quite an ordeal. Ava wasn't sure what they were doing to mom, and therefore cried the entire time. Christopher took the day off of school to be there with me to see the newest pictures, and ended up having to leave because Ava's crying was distracting other moms in other rooms. Must be first-time moms, or they'd understand you can't just make your baby stop crying instantly. Plus, I couldn't exactly hold her while I was lying down on the table (she did not understand this). And to top it all off, the baby decided it didn't want to show us the heart or it's face or anything from the front. Ok with us because we aren't finding out the baby's gender, but not ok with the ultrasound tech, who asked me to schedule an additional appointment so she could finish getting the pictures she needed. As she handed me the pictures they take for you as a keepsake, she said, "yeah, um, I'll get you some better ones next time".

So I had TWO uncooperative children that day, and I now have to have TWO ultrasound appointments just to get the pictures they need. Ended up being kind of a rough day, but everyone survived and we did end up with some pretty cool pictures of our newest baby!

Christmas 2007

This year for Christmastime, all of my immediate family living in Michigan came to our house for the holidays. It was a lot of fun! My brothers can entertain any crowd, and my mom and dad smoked us out on Christmas eve (forgot to open the damper on the fireplace, so all the smoke came in the house instead of up the chimney! We were at church, so we came home to what we thought was a minor house fire!) Some of the stockings that "were hung by the chimney with care" are now stained with soot. Oh well--we'll be able to retell that story just by looking at the stockings! Gracie, our neice, came over for most of the day, and she and Ava yucked it up as always. The two of them are a total hoot together. The whole family has the movie 'Frosty the Snowman' memorized because the two of them wanted to watch it over and over again.

Every time the Frosty song came on, the two of them started dancing--hilarious! I even got them with the camcorder because it was too funny.

We spent the 27th of December at Christopher's family's house to celebrate with them. Some of our out-of-town relatives were there, and it is always fun to catch up with them. Ava had such a good time opening her gifts, that she started opening any gift she could get her hands on. She opened some of Uncle Carl's tools, Grandpa's boxes, etc. She really enjoys the unwrapping part! She got a beautiful home-made blanket from Grandma Zirk, and really cherishes it already. She likes to have it in the crib with her at nighttime.