What the heck??!!

Today I was told to fix a problem at work that I had nothing to do with; I was just in the path of the Dr who was extremely upset. And I had to listen to him on his soapbox for a good hour of my morning that I didn't really have to spare.

What the heck??!!

I was called into my manager's office today and told that I have to pump my milk and nurse my baby faster than I am already currently doing during the work day. And that I should take my work phone with me to lunch so I can field any calls that come for me (with my 3rd hand? I am already nursing and trying to eat lunch at the same time)

What the heck??!!

I was greeted after my 'lunch break' by an overhead page in the hospital and the Chief of Staff for the Drs to interrogate me about something that happened during my lunch break that I didn't even know had happened yet (should've had my phone I guess), and why I let it happen. I knew I wasn't going to get to say my piece, so I just smiled and nodded and said, "ok. sure." repeatedly. No matter how much he baited his questions, I just nodded my head and didn't reply with words. It was killing me not to say what I really wanted to say (like "you're a pompous idiot who is such a 'yes' man you wouldn't know an original idea if it smacked you upside the head"). He took me back to first year nursing school to reeducate me about how to take a dr's order.

What the heck??!!

After what I called "my 3 kicks in the groin" so far that day, my manager reappears to tell me her advice for the whole situation above is to never trust anyone. Great lesson, great teacher. Really helped me out. That's sounds like a great way to get bitter and ugly.

What the heck??!!

Trying to figure things out in my head...

This is where I am right now...


Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?

Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
reckless abandon wrapped in common sense.
Deep water faith in the shallow end
and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences,
the God we want and the God who is.
But will we trade our dreams for His,
or are we caught in the middle?

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

Casting Crowns, "Somewhere in the Middle", from The Altar and the Door